Over the last 4 years, our family has been living with family and in March we moved into our own home (insert Praise Dance). I won’t say it’s been easy, but the struggle has been well worth it! When you leave your own home to live with someone else (even if its parents) there is a part of your self-esteem that leaves as well. There is a “self-shame” that comes along with two able-bodied adults that have had to start over! This is not what we imagined after being married for 6 years. And I get that there have been lots of obstacles that we have had to overcome, however, this one was a hard pill to swallow because we truly felt inadequate. Of course, when you look back you realize that you were where God needed you to be.
About a week ago I shared this picture on Instagram as part of an Everyday Photo A Day Challenge I’m currently participating in, it was a picture of my “front door”…
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“The Front Door” (10/8) many know portions of our story but the part we don’t often talk about is how we had to start over as a family, this is the first year in 4 years that we have our OWN front door! I can’t wait to put out more fall decorations! #godsplan #everydayphotoaday #TGBTG #blackfamily #blackmomsblog
My caption was vague but it shared that we finally had our own place! And how grateful I am! Honestly, I went back and forth with myself on whether or not I would share this, and finally, after being here for 7 months I’m finally feeling as if I should share more on this topic! You see the blogging world used to be a place where you could come and release, but now everything is so curated to look as if life is perfect so it’s hard to come and share some of the real… it’s like what for! Are readers truly looking for someone to share something real or something that was created for the sole purpose of getting “likes” or more “fans”
Tips for on how we got back on our Feet…
This is a process that is still currently going on, it’s not like we struck it rich and no longer have to worry about anything! Moving was a big adjustment and we are still adjusting! I have learned to “Trust God and Chill”
Finances (Communication and Creating a Financial Plan)…This is the BIGGEST PART! Darrick and I took a Dave Ramsey class about a year ago and we learned lots of good tips from it. Will I say we stuck with it 100%…No! But we do implement lots of the things we learned! One of the biggest things is Communication, no one likes to talk about money unless you have an abundance or never-ending supply of it but we talked about it and wrote everything out. I’m a visual person so I need it on paper, while Darrick keeps a running tally in his head…we had to compromise! We still have our arguments about it from time to time but we eventually come back together to get everything in order, because this team consists of only us two! And we are expected to provide for the other two team members!
Cut Down on Frivolous Spending…Change your Mindset! Y’all the Target trips were killing us, we both love Target! Straight up, the mindless walking around Target was an addiction that we both had to break! I won’t say are fully rehabbed but we are better than we were! We think twice before spending, and even then we are questioning on if we really need the item or not, and most likely if you are thinking that hard you don’t need it! Stop buying things you dont need! Get rid of things that you dont need! I started selling stuff that I wasn’t using on Poshmark, and I got my husband into it and it has turned into a side-hustle!
Never Stop Visiting Properties…Listen, I didn’t know if we would buy a house or rent a place, but one thing I never stopped doing is looking and visiting properties! Much like people say “never stop dreaming” this was me, I would browse websites, create a wishlist, visit open houses…manifest what you want! Speak it and go see it, take pictures and pray about it, this was my motto! Sure there were times when I would leave places and think we would never be able to afford it, but it didn’t stop me from putting it on my vision board! I have stopped momentarily, but I have the itch to start back up again, I know in my heart what I want so I will push until we get it.
Create a Dollar Ministry…LOL, we call it our Dollar Ministry because our church had a dollar ministry, years ago! Basically, when you spend money during a day, whatever single dollars you have left, you put it in a “pot” and once the “pot” gets big you deposit it into the bank. You may think this is crazy but it adds up quickly!
Vision List or Board…Manifest your dreams! Write them down, make them plain! Discuss your dreams, pray about your dreams. Darrick and I created a vision list of things that we wanted to accomplish and things we wanted and started praying and talking to each other more about it. There is power in your words…so speak it into existence!
Move in Silence…Sometimes you have to move in Silence! No shade to anyone, but sometimes you have to “grind now” and talk later. I hate to seem like I’m “all talk,” when you are constantly sharing plans and goals. So instead of talking, starting making moves, and make yourself a believer…then, you can share with others! It’s not that you don’t want to share what’s going on, its just sometimes you have to shut out the “outside world.”