I know I am later than most, and this is a post that I have been meaning to write for a long time, well really since the beginning of the year. However, it’s January 31st and I have finally narrowed it down! I ended last year with the thought that my word for the year would be “Increase” I wanted and still want an increase in some areas of my life, however, I saw the word BALANCE on something I was reading and realized that I wanted that more than ANYTHING!
We currently live in a world of social media, and everything is online! From people’s main hustle to side hustles to anything in between! It’s all online, and honestly I love it BUT I realized last year that from looking at EVERYTHING about everyone else, I was losing focus and balance in my own life! I felt like I was losing balance from the things that I was genuinely interested and involved in it to things that my husband and I randomly added to our calendar…we were always on the go! I was VERY tired but I felt like that is how we had to be in order for me to be successful in blogging and other things we are involved in.
Closer to the end of the year I was burned out! I was burned out from blogging, work, church events, family events…everything I literally wanted to just say no to EVERYTHING! I didn’t but this is sometimes how I felt! Even down to Emma’s weekly Speech, OT and PT sessions, I wanted to cancel it all because I was tired!
I talked to Darrick countless times last year about giving it all up…blogging that is! I felt like blogging had become a burden! I know I mentioned it a few times on a couple of posts last year, and while I didn’t give it up totally I scaled back. And actually, from time to time, I feel the anxiety of blogging creep up on me…but I am finding BALANCE!
Until you become a blogger, you have no idea how it feels to go somewhere and your mind is constantly going on taking the right pictures, making sure you get as many as you need, I even had Darrick taking pictures, making the kids pose a certain way but still look natural…sometimes it’s a headache! Now don’t get me wrong I am VERY grateful for all the opportunities blogging has afforded me, but I was losing other things along the way!
There were times I was literally sitting in front of the computer with a lump in my throat fighting back tears because I had Mommy guilt of sitting in front of a computer while I needed to be focused on things with my children. But I waited until the last minute to make a deadline and it was nobody’s fault but my own!
This is where my word of the year comes in…
I don’t have to give it all up but I need to create a time to blog and a time to be focused on my family and myself! Simple as that, I need to prioritize better and focus on things that truly matter and stop saying YES to everything! We don’t need to be present for everything, and sometimes its okay to say no just for your own sanity!